I Didn’t Understand at First

I used to wonder about the things you'd do for me.

The way you’d pick out clothes for me and insist I wear them.

The way you’d come into my room with food, even when I said I wasn’t hungry.

The way you’d let your stress slip into your words, sometimes sharper than you meant them to be.

The way you’d share things about me with others when I preferred to keep them to myself.

The way you’d reach out to my friends, asking about me when I pulled away.

The way you’d compare my struggles to yours, ones that felt heavier, as if mine should mean nothing.

The way you’d tell me to stay positive when all I wanted was to break down.

The way you’d force yourself to put on a smile even when I could see the weight you were carrying.

The way you’d forgive over and over, even when I thought some people didn’t deserve it.

There were times I didn’t quite understand.

I thought we saw love differently.

But then, I started looking from another angle.

You weren’t just choosing clothes—you were looking out for me, wanting me to be my best.

You weren’t just forcing me to eat—you were making sure I had something, even if I didn’t ask.

You weren’t just speaking in frustration—you were carrying so much, you just wanted someone to see and hear you.

You weren’t just sharing about me—you were trying to understand, to find ways to help.

You weren’t just checking in with my friends—you wanted to be sure I had someone, even when I pushed away.

You weren’t just comparing struggles—you were reminding me of strength, of survival.

You weren’t just telling me to stay positive—you were holding onto hope, even when things were hard.

You weren’t just applying toxic positivity—you were choosing resilience and inspires me to do the same.

You weren’t just forgiving—you just kept choosing love over and over again after all.

And yes, we did see love differently.

But now I see—you were just trying to love me in your way, the best way you knew how.

And that alone is enough.

Now, as I learn the way you love—you also try to learn the way I want to be loved.

And whether you're loving me in your way or my way, I feel so blessed to have you as my mom.